by a Wesleyan Mother
Life is not worth living until one is prepared for death. This fact had been well implanted in our minds in our early parsonage training. We instilled this truth in our children only to learn how unprepared we were ourselves to face the reality of death.
We were an average family. Our girls were 10 and 12 and Jimmy was 8 years of age. It took but a few words to change our entire lives. Consulting a doctor concerning Jimmy, following a short illness, we were kindly but bluntly told that Jimmy was a victim of cancer and there was no hope for his life. How completely our small world was crushed!
At that time we seemed unable to comprehend the complete will of God. It would have been easier to accept had our aims and ambitions for him been selfish. Jimmy had been saved at a D.V.B.S. class when he was only five. He was a real witness for Christ, truly showing how much Christ can use a child's influence. He longed to become a missionary to Africa. We had very much to learn about the many ways of God's working.
Our first impulse was to consult other doctors, faith healers, or anyone who might help. We found the answer on our knees. The following 18 months could have been filled with heartbreak and frustration. We obeyed God, stayed home, and those months became the most precious, contented time of our life. Heaven became a reality to us as we sang, read, and talked of this home where Jimmy would soon be. In helping our son we found comfort and peace that no one else could give.
Our record player was consecrated to playing hymns only. Unable to attend church we found a solace for all of us that nothing of this world could give. As we recently read of that great statesman, John Foster Dulles, spending his last hours on earth listening to recorded gospel hymns, we were reminded that a great statesman and a child enter through the same door.
My husband and I talked and prayed about the great responsibility we had been given. We realized that some day we would stand before God and give an account of our treatment and training of this child who was so soon to be with Jesus. We decided to continue to punish Jimmy when, as a normal little boy, he was in need of discipline. We were well rewarded before his death by his "thank you for spanking me—I needed it." It repaid us in full measure for the heart-aches we had when punishment was necessary. We continue yet to hear of his patience and sweetness in the hospital.
The greatest lesson we learned was the importance of living but one day at a time. It seems only natural for parents to wish for their child to walk when he starts creeping and to look forward to his graduation when he enters kindergarten. With the future in full view we learned how precious each hour could be.
It would be impossible to relate the many, many times God answered prayer and gave us courage and faith. We found how precious the Word of God can be, especially to a child. God not only took the fear of death from Jimmy, but Jimmy longed to go home. God can truly do abundantly more than we could ask or think. Watching a child suffer can drive one completely away from God, or if we are willing, we can learn many "lessons God has in this for all of us. To remain true to God, regardless of circumstances, gives us the assurance that some day Christ will give our child back to us. We feel that it would truly be a privilege to be a child throughout eternity, never realizing the sin and sordidness of this world.
We, who could not understand at first, came to the place where we knelt together and asked God to take Jimmy home. The day following, Jimmy fell asleep and awoke in Glory. Now we can say with understanding, "O Death, where is thy sting; O Grave, where is thy victory?"
--The Wesleyan Methodist 04/06/1960
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